Veganism at the Dining Table

and how to be the star of every gathering!

With all the media hype, brand deals, and seasonal Salt and Straw flavors circling around, maybe you’ve heard it’s Veganuary—a month where people challenge themselves to eat vegan food and see how it works for them. I thought now would be a good time to elaborate on an essay about my transition to eating plant-based and how it fit into my relationship with my family and culture. I know it’s difficult for many people to go plant-based when confronted with cultural traditions and various social situations, so this is about that.

I have an irrational fear of rejecting cake and desserts at large Indian gatherings. Just last week, I found myself rehearsing what I’d say minutes before the birthday cake circled the room. “No thank you, I’m vegan.” Ok, rehearsal didn’t take long. Now I just have to say it five times because at least five people will approach me and wonder where my cake is. Then I may need to explain that eating plant-based actually doesn’t include dairy and listen to the mothers discuss how I really should eat ghee for the sake of my bones (my mom insists, but she does graciously buy vegan butter for my rotis). Inevitably, it ends with a brief explanation of why I’m vegan (I try not to confuse people with the minimal exceptions). The conversation either ends there or becomes the center of attention.

When you’re at gatherings, your dietary choices are on full display. And if you clearly avoid certain items at these gatherings, you draw attention. Your decision to abstain from eating celebratory dishes could provoke curiosity or cause others to get defensive about their choices. That’s why it was so easy for me to transition in 2020. There were no gatherings! No questions! I was just a 19-year-old watching the sky change during wildfire season (Lorde didn’t say “I’m 19 and I’m on fire” for no reason. Though in hindsight, I was probably being a tad melodramatic. At least the drama led to something good.) I almost only ate with my parents, who challenged me at times but were never insulted by my sudden decision. 

I can imagine that it’s difficult to explain your choices to relatives who may not have heard of plant-based eating and are constantly offering you traditional dishes made with love and care. If you constantly turn away the mal pua or dumplings, will it scar your relationship over time? Or maybe you have friends who love to grab pizza or wings after baseball games or movies; some of them may not understand you and others may go out of their way to accommodate, making you stressed about stressing them out. These social situations are what Ali Francis highlighted in Bon Appetit last week, creating a term for those who live in the gray areas: the social omnivore. Social omnivore or not, it can be frustrating when those around you don’t understand a core part of your being or make your food choices the center of attention. 

How are you supposed to discuss the ethical quandaries of consumption at the dining table when you’re just trying to enjoy some jackfruit kofta and parathas and chutneys, not cry at the table because of the state of the food system! (Ok, I haven’t actually ended up in tears before but that’s only because I stop talking before the conversation borders dining table war territory.)

My fear is not of speaking up, but of getting emotional while speaking up. Militant vegans have the reputation they do because telling someone that the dead bird on their plate died to satisfy their selfish desire for pleasure doesn’t exactly help you make friends. Instead of going through the emotional labor of discussing the multifaceted reasons why I believe in plant-based eating, sometimes I prefer to sprinkle in names of documentaries and articles that influenced my decision. This is problematic in its own way, because as uncomfortable as these conversations make me, I think it is important to have them. 

I have never been opposed to listening to alternatives to eating plant-based as long as animal and human rights are part of the conversation. What I am tired of is arguments that discuss only individual health or only climate change, as if I don’t realize that vegan butter may not be any more nutritious than regular butter or that climate change is a complex issue that includes more than food. A common comment that implies your choice is solely for health: “Oh, nothing will happen if you just have one!” I highlight this knowing that my mother constantly tells me that if I want to change my mind for a moment, I can try the rasmalai or a bite of the dahi vada. There have been times where she was so insistent that I succumbed. But this is not about those times. 

This is about conversations you might get looped into at the dining table while you’re trying to eat in peace. This is about responding in a respectful manner that opens people up to veganism and its values rather than fosters anti-vegan sentiment. Of course, you would probably sound more casual and not cite articles—if you do, yikes you might not be invited to dinner again—but I’ve included them here for reference. 

“What would happen if we all went vegan? Do you know how massive the animal population is? The chickens would take over the world!”

*Sorry, this is the one that leaves me speechless. No response. Drink some wine.* 

Just kidding. Sort of. If I were to respond, minus the chickens-take-over-the-world part, I might say it’s an unrealistic consideration that isn’t going to happen any time soon, given how many people are employed by the meat industry and the massive paradigm shift we would need for people to willingly go vegan or eat in a way that prioritizes animal welfare. At this point, any harm reduction is part of the movement. (Here is an article from BBC Good Food that attempts to answer the question.)

“There is no way that plant-based meat, butter, and cheese are as healthy as real meat, butter, and cheese.”

Well, veganism is about more than the health of our bodies. It’s also about animals, communities, and the environment. I’d recommend looking into the One Health approach, which is a “unifying approach to balance and optimize the health of people, animals and the environment.” While the WHO primarily cites it in relation to global health issues like pandemics, the ideology can be applied to a number of issues. Eating plant-based for health reasons does not have to include plant-based alternatives, as there are nutrients in plants alone. We eat plant-based alternatives primarily to preserve the culinary traditions we grew up with, so articles that compare plant-based butter to real butter do the math while missing the point of plant-based alternatives. 

“Even if everyone goes vegan, we will be miles away from addressing climate change. It’s far more important to participate in efforts towards systemic change.”

Yes, I like that you highlighted participation in efforts towards systemic change. Oftentimes when we make these changes we may trick ourselves into believing our work is done, but the sheer scale of the issue means the work is never really done. Although climate change is part of the picture, it isn’t the only reason to be vegan. One facet of veganism that is often neglected in conversations about climate change is “ethical veganism.”

“Humans are naturally omnivores, which is why we shouldn’t be eliminating meat from our diet.”

Our ancestors had to hunt to survive because they often didn’t know where their next meal was coming from. Even then, they didn’t have meatpacking factories that create particularly inhumane conditions for animals and workers. Writer Ariel Pontes considers this argument an example of the naturalistic fallacy where natural does not necessarily correspond to moral. Even if our teeth evolved to imply that humans are omnivores, today we have the ability to live healthfully on plants and reduce harm for animals and the planet, which is really cool. 

“But where do you get your protein, iron, and calcium from?”

I love tofu, beans, edamame (underrated!), lentils, green peas, hemp seeds, and grains for protein. You do have to be cognizant of eating enough protein, but protein sources throughout the day can add up. As for calcium, it is actually not any more bioavailable in dairy than it is in plant-based sources like greens, tofu, or enriched plant-based milks. I’d recommend the documentaries What the Health (about food and healthcare) and Game Changers (about vegan athletes) for more on the topic. 

“It must be so expensive and difficult. Props to you!”

*politely chuckle* Personally, I haven’t changed what I eat that much, but that may be because my family’s non-veg days were limited to the weekends. Most of the week involved plenty of dal, chana masala, and rajma, all of which I still enjoy today. When bought in bulk, legumes are an affordable source of protein and fiber, with every culture coming up with interesting ways to eat them. I also like buying nuts in bulk. It can be difficult to eat out depending on where you’re going, but vegan dishes are usually a little less expensive, so we make up for what we pay for milk at coffee shops! (Note: I don’t want to downplay that it can be an expensive and difficult transition for some people. This answer was based on my experience!)

“But what about the traditions you grew up on that are meaningful to your culture?”

I think I’ve actually grown closer to my culture ever since I made the transition. One of the joys of plant-based eating is finding ways to stay close to your cultural foods while maintaining your values. Personally, I’ve become more familiar with using the flavors of various ingredients to imitate what I grew up with. For example, my proudest recreation was vegan rasmalai. Not because it perfectly replaced my memory of rasmalai, but because of the joy of creating the recipe by myself and sharing it with my parents. Sometimes you’ll fail, but even then I feel like I walk away learning something about my culture’s cuisine.

“It’s just a little bit, don’t you want to have some fun?”

Thank you for offering, but this is what gives me peace of mind so I’d like to stick with it! 

SPICE RACK

dishing on the favorites

cooking: Khaman dhokla and pleasant breakfasts. Pindi chole video coming on Friday! It’s quite possibly my favorite way to eat chana masala. 

reading: Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. 

The Creative Independent

I loved the perspective presented in this NYT piece on obesity

At the headlines of food news, the closing of Noma and unsustainability of fine dining

I got a fresh pair of hiking boots so I riffed on Leandra Cohen’s winter uniform!!!

listening: Lizzy McAlpine’s five seconds flat is now one of my favorite albums of all time. 

watching: A lot of movies over winter break. Here are the ones I’d recommend (though you’ve probably seen them because I’m always behind on movies) + a little parenthetical note to softly impose my opinion.

Glass Onion and Knives Out (I liked Glass Onion more. So funny!)

Everything Everywhere All At Once (A nearly perfect movie. Beautiful depiction of time and family.)

Good Will Hunting (A rewatch. I love the dialogue.)

The Menu (Hilarious at times, but a bit underwhelming for a thriller.)

Andhadhun and Govinda Mera Naam (For those who like Bollywood thrillers)

Top Gun: Maverick 

And I can’t believe it either but it was my first time watching Kal Ho Naa Ho, Bend it Like Beckham, and Elf…I don’t know what that says about me. 

Next Wednesday will be a continuation of the Veganuary series. If you want, tell us about a memorable dining table conversation you’ve had!