I also wrote an ins/outs list

2025 vibe check, just for fun

Thinking of everyone affected by the fires in LA. Linking this resource spreadsheet put together by Mutual Aid LA <3

Last month I started an ins/outs list on my notes app. Not with the intention to share it but it grew and grew so here we are! Even if there are too many of these on the internet, I will unfailingly read every single one that comes my way. My version is just what I want the new year to bring and what I want to see more (and less) of in no particular order.

IN

borrowing books at the library

ordering what you actually want at a restaurant. instead of what you think you should want or what is most unique or what is most “worth it.” just WHAT YOU WANT.

complimenting people! using names more often! if I were to have one new year’s resolution, this might be it.

listening to albums. and getting into an artist and then listening to all their albums in order starting from the beginning.

double texting

handmade gifts and decor

legumes and mushrooms (always in, obviously)

walking to get places. even when they tell you LA is unwalkable. but safety first!

…and ice cream walks. specifically a cone! walking around with ice cream is maybe my favorite activity in the world.

writing letters. DRAMATIC GESTURES.

making morning plans

wearing/buying clothes you love. not like but LOVE.

capitalizing things for emphasis lol

bringing together your friends who don’t know each other

eBay. I’ve been using it for secondhand clothing but would also like to start looking for vintage ceramics and quaint little gifts!

Devin Kate Pope

’s gift guide broadened the possibilities of this platform for me.

getting past the idea stage. I love a brainstorm but sometimes the brainstorm ends up being the whole project. we need execution!

being a responsible party girl aka the coexistence of chaos and responsibility in many realms of life.

functional fashion. carrying lots of things in your big bag, dressing for the weather, etc.

which leads to…jeans under your dress. not something I’ve tried yet but why be cold when you could give 2008 Hannah Montana at the red carpet!

running with no music or podcasts (sometimes). I used to run without anything in my ears as a teen before I apparently lost my sanity and couldn’t handle quiet. but running with nothing but your own thoughts can actually be so freeing! it’s the only form of meditation I know and my air pods constantly malfunctioning is making this really easy to do.

restaurant/cafe merch. supporting local and wearing the places that make you, you.

long form media consumption. youtube video essays instead of tiktoks every now and then. books instead of a million little substacks (though I will also always be down to read a million little substacks ofc!)

home brewing. I had a moment a few years ago where I took my coffee science very seriously and tried different methods of brewing. and saved money on coffee! I love a cozy drink ritual.

ethics with nuance. specifically in reference to being a “perfect” vegan. this is something I used to write about when I started this substack and I stand by it.

not trying to “fix things.” emotions are meant to be processed and truly ~felt~

small talk that isn’t filler small talk

changing your hair, getting that tattoo, etc. things I’ve thought about a lot but have never committed to.

music videos

wearing one pair of jeans you really like all the time. currently doing this with the agolde jeans I found on eBay.

playing with color. like yes, all black is forever and everyone loves a pop of red these days but I’d like to mix and match more and see what happens!

reaching out to people you haven’t seen in years. not hesitating to like the story of someone you barely know.

having more goals that are for fun. for plot!!!

a sweet spicy flavor combo. and sweet salty for baked goods.

remixes of unexpected songs at the club. a la dj mandy.

clearing out/donating things you don’t need or use

being able to describe why you enjoyed a book or film. I tend to lose my words when I’m telling someone what it was about and it makes me question how I deeply I engaged with it. so deep engagement! that’s what’s up.

headwear: scarves, bandannas, balaclavas, bonnets, etc. as someone who experiences bad hair days more than I’d like to, I want to try this out more!

arm day. not something I take very seriously but feeling like I can lift things is actually awesome so maybe I should?

engaging with music and films in languages you don’t really know

parties. like really fun and unique parties where drinking isn’t necessarily the central activity

reading on vacation

OUT

the tiktoks that are like “so what sneaker are we wearing this fall” and any kind of video/article about what the it girls of nyc are wearing

subtitles. (I am brave. I can change.)

feeling the need to add an exclamation point or smiley face even when you really don’t need one! :)

getting ideas from pinterest before yourself

gifting olive oil. sure, I would use nice olive oil but I wouldn’t be that enthusiastic about receiving it, ya know? like when you thought of me you thought of…oil? when I already have costco olive oil?

saying sorry when you’re not actually sorry

big elaborate packaging for small items. like what are we trying to achieve here?

complimentary tote bags and having a million tote bags as a result

calling it “rotting.” we need a better word because sometimes a bed “rot” is more like a rebirth! (or maybe this is false optimism idk)

food on graphic tees. there’s a fine line here and it is one I feel has been crossed by the urban outfitters tomato tees, the lisa says gah picnic dress, etc.

quiet luxury and the aspirational wealth approach to fashion. let’s get LOUD

standing in line just because everyone is standing in line. (aka getting in line because you see a long line and assume it’ll be good because the line is long.)

athleisure anywhere except the gym or a post-workout errand

dry January. ok maybe because it’s my birthday. dry January for the right reasons can’t really be argued with.

expensive skincare

tiktok shop and the $10 sweater I must buy

coffee and wine snobs. “you can just taste the notes better you know.” I do know! but let me enjoy my horchata latte!!!

buying a new outfit for every occasion and overconsumption in general

carrying a power bank

complaining